Hello Rheumatoid Arthritis, Goodbye Previous Life

found poem*

I don’t know where to start. My bones 

hurt.  When asked which ones, I said All.

You name the joint…it has hurt!

My first symptom was intense,

debilitating, unremitting, intermittent, 

shooting, sharp, like a large bus hit me, 

0-10, out of joint, widespread, weird, 

like walking on rocks, pain. 

I went from running 8 to 10 miles a day 

to not being able to walk up the stairs.

I’ve gone from a complete neat freak 

to I can barely move. The cleaning can wait.  

It’s not just joint pain….It’s pain 

in more places than I knew I had 

sucking my life away. I could not walk, 

make a fist, hold a coffee, dress myself

or get off the toilet. What the hell? 

The pain was out of the roof, 

the worst flu I ever had; only it wasn’t, 

and then magically, it was gone.

I used to be a Superwoman. Really.

Now there are days I cannot open a door knob, 

turn a key, or pull up jeans.

And yes, there’s the, you don’t look sick factor! 

I would like to know hope for the future, 

what it would be like to have NO PAIN,

that I could perhaps even run again

or just live a somewhat normal life.

*based on over 700 social media responses from people diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. Data provided by the Rheumatoid Patient Foundation