Holes

There’s a hole,                                                                    she said

                             In a field

                                 It just showed up                                                                                one 

day 

                                                                           I cannot fill it

cover it

                                                                                                   It’s there

Maybe                               

                                                                                  for good. 

Walk around the hole, daughter

                                                                                                               see what you can do

my thoughts    

                                                                                    are crawling

                                           toward that hole

I might                                                                                                                                

 lose me 

if I am not 

careful

I imagine 

             crop circles

hoaxes

cereals bent, folded 

to form patterns

with no scientific explanation

this hole an inner deception of her

Creation

a mad raving of a tired life lived

I see the hole, illuminated X-Ray light

saturated blue MRI scan

creature living under gray matter

eating tissue for dessert

spitting out nerve cells 

leaving a graveyard of memory bone

tangles                                      knots

amyloid plaques       

                                                        frustrating 

balls of fuzzy red lint                                       pilling 

gathering                                                             

                                                                                accumulating 

stuck--

blocking smiles, familiar dates, baby’s names

how to say words like,            “love” and “daughter”

this hole

will grow

until it consumes                her. 

Mother, come, stand with me in this hole

I’ll remember you                                   for you

say my name            and     yours

excavate new words                               for you          to reclaim your fears

our crop circles write a new language        remember each other.