Radiology

We often sat in a dark room

and waited. 

During an appointment, I assisted with an

ultrasound—

The technician squeezed gel onto  

the patient’s skin, pressed the wand into his

neck to examine the artery.

On the screen, the structures expanded & contracted

and I wondered about bloodletting, about the humors and 

an overabundance of black bile. 

I wanted to see the insides of my own vessels, 

create a map of epithelium and know it was good. 

I had been found by my family’s history, a lineage

of upheaval [either genetic or bloodborne]

that I feared would continue to come for me—

While assisting with an x-ray one morning, 

I folded into the shape of a lead apron, 

pressed myself into the corner of the room

like a moss. 

The technician spoke quietly to the patient

be still

  don’t move

let’s try that one again

and I, too, hoped for steadiness, 

for strong spleen & ample blood 

[iron into marrow into hemoglobin].